We Want a Society or Something

Hey, Team.

It’s becoming increasingly likely my Mad Max fan fic¹ is going to be my only joy in the coming years. My brain is a smooth marble of anger and exhaustion. Let’s keep it simple.

A Wizard of Earthsea (Ursula K. Le Guin) - I swear to god I’m going to finally finish this book, damn. My mom loves these books and has been dying to talk to me about them since I was 12.

My Sister, the Serial Killer (Oyinkan Braithwaite) - Just managed to check the ebook out of the library— it’s a funny book! I’m loving it and am kind of bummed it’s so short!

Quicksilver (Callie Hart) - one, I don’t remember when I placed a hold on this book but now it’s available so I’m reading it. Two, I initially assumed it was YA but it is not! It is not.

Saw The Naked Gun for the first time. Priscilla Presley, wow! Incredible how some of the comedy is genuine absurdist artistry and other times it is dumb as hell and that’s the point. OJ has enviable instincts for slapstick, and that’s where I am ending the review.

Re-watched Princess Mononoke but this time in English. Billy Bob Thornton and John DiMaggio should’ve switched roles. BBT voicing anything not tall is bizarre and jarring. He has smug tall guy voice (stolen valor: he’s 5’10”)

Superman wheezing, sputtering out gobs of blood as he lies limp in the snow and his body fails him. Using the last scrap of energy, he whistles. In answer, his perfect and darling dumb idiot of a ballistic missile for a dog comes rocketing in and proceeds to beat the shit out of him. The grunts and wails of agony that burst from him are exquisite.

Little Shop of Ali’s latest video essays are so good! Tracy Flick, Male Feminists, and The Power of Likeability and Blake Lively, Justin Baldoni, and The Cult of True Victimhood. Clear your schedule, watch these videos, find me on Bluesky and talk to me about it. I want to chit chat, I want to talk about oppressor classes internalizing dominance aka white people screaming, crying, and throwing up the second someone else gets rights. Subscribe to Aliyah’s channel, please, her essays are so good and I always end up thinking about them for days after.

Bad Bunny’s Tiny Desk Concert - the way he flows from an astoundingly horny song to using the vamping after to explain that PR has been under colonial rule for over 100 years, unable to vote for a president yet forced to live under the whims of whoever occupies that office? “Ponte en cuatro – by the way I know none of you can find Puerto Rico on a map – que te vo'a dar fuete” (not a direct quote) Love. Love that man.

DC League of Super-Pets is a good movie. End of thought.

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I want to watch a book summary/review for City of Indra but I’m almost positive they’re all going to be only dunking on the Jenner girls rather than dunking on the book. I know it’s going to be a bad book, but I expect integrity from my hater content. I know it will be hard for reviewers to separate art from artist since those sisters have long since ceased to be public figures and are now public symbols. I once enthusiastically texted a friend “the karjenners are the true saints of late stage capitalism literally each one represents a different pillar of the decay” and then proceeded to Not Elaborate. I don’t feel like elaborating now, either, but that’s an okay illustration for my point that they’re symbols not figures now, right? Say “right, Scarey.” Thank you. BTW they did publish a follow up: Time of the Twins. It was published in 2016, so I can understand if you were distracted by other things and missed this.

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I’ve put zero effort into acting, I never audition, made zero attempts to get representation, and I barely put in effort beyond an occasional sketch show. But if I were actually trying my dream role would be something that’d get me covered in blood. Hair plastered, bits of viscera stuck to my face, absolutely reeking of Mehron for weeks after wrapping. The dream :)

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“Why is the Minecraft movie so popular if it is so bad??” Ah you see, you have forgotten how desperately we want to have fun and how very fucking impossible it is to have fun right now. You seem to have forgotten that the prime years of socialization for the main butts in those seats happened during the pandemic. These are young folks whose first exposure to interacting with other people that wasn’t at a playground was on the internet. Throwing popcorn, screaming CHICKEN JOCKEY, attempting to open a mosh pit, these are all what happen when you try to carry out multiplayer gaming antics IRL. I’m not saying it’s okay behavior at a regular screening where there are non-participating audience members just trying to get their Jack Black saying sk’doosh fix. I’m saying this is the kind of thing to pull out at a Rocky Horror-esque showing that’s designated for this sort of physical meme chaos. In all scenarios, of course, theater employees suffer, but at least at a designated interactive screening they’ll be (hopefully) better equipped for just what the fuck they’re going to have to sweep up after the credits roll. The studios are absolutely going to misunderstand this as an audience demand for more crap to shriek at. Ten thousand more IP mining slopfests are being greenlit as we speak.

I know in terms of art it’s a detriment, that no one is learning or growing but god, what the fuck do you want us to do here? We’re wearing suits and acting up at The Rise of Gru, we’re insisting Trap is good actually, please jesus fucking christ please just get rid of credit scores and shutter every student loan office and maybe we’ll watch a three hour Oscar bait depression marathon in earnest. It’s amazing to think what the average person being able to buy a house could do for the arts. But no, the weirdo losers paid to rub their melted taffy dicks and rotted booger clits all day would rather play gestapo and ship perpetrators of thought crime to El Salvador while refusing to let their coworker use the bathroom because they think it’s normal, good for society, and not complete pervert weirdo shit to torment a woman because they can’t stop thinking about her genitals. GOD I hated filing my taxes this year.

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Anyway, long live the trailer park version! Here is a non-comprehensive and deeply incomplete list of things I like just fine/tolerate okay with their trailer park equal that I love.

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For fun I’ve been asking around “If there was a fancam of you, what song would be used?” and it turns out that’s a tough question! I picked “The Deal” by Mitski because I’m A Bummer™. My husband thinks it should instead be “Man in Black” by Johnny Cash, which is fair. I would love to wear a rainbow every day, but a-fucking-las. Have fun thinking about what song would be in your fancam, pick something less morose than “The Deal,” please!

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Okay, Team. That’s all for now. Talk soon (threat)!